So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
