Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
