You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize