your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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