Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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