Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Is it penis luge time yet?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
