i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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