Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
