i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
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i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
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Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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