I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
