Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
