He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
