Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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