the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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