I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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