ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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