I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
