i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm way too hungover for life right now
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
