She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
