When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
PANTIES FOUND
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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