but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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