All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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