Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
