so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
