i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
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So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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