chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
