Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
