3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
