i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
how drunk are you?
Several
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
