I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
