if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just had sex on a roof
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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