you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
