textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize