Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
