you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
