She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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