i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
