I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she pinky promised me she was 18
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
