It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
