I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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