Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
