we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
