i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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