help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
