At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
