she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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