found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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