and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
