i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
