My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize