at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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