i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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