Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
