This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I want to fling myself into the sun
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
