I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
