I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
a search helicopter?!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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