Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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