I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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