You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
