Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I will die if light touches me.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
