it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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