He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
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So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
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Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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