you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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