Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?

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  (917): You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower? http://tfl.nu/keh5
  Replies (1) Good night (1258) Bad night (588)
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  (650): View more from California

  you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!

  (1-650): View more from California

  noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!

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  (650): you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish! (1-650): noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish! http://tfl.nu/qi3r
  Replies (86) Good night (3689) Bad night (1466)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  handjob tips. give me some.

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  (314): handjob tips. give me some. http://tfl.nu/678j
  Replies (76) Good night (4465) Bad night (1709)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.

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  (630): My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock. http://tfl.nu/njgo
  Replies (166) Good night (28418) Bad night (2755)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out

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  (917): im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out http://tfl.nu/fsk9
  Replies (106) Good night (21256) Bad night (1068)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself

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  (502): they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself http://tfl.nu/m9eg
  Replies (4) Good night (645) Bad night (2815)
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  (516): View more from New York

  The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.

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  (516): The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home. http://tfl.nu/xzym
  Replies (13) Good night (6336) Bad night (1121)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral

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  (410): it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral http://tfl.nu/q6za
  Replies (2) Good night (754) Bad night (2360)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.

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  (402): Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year. http://tfl.nu/x76y
  Replies (18) Good night (3663) Bad night (893)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.

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  (937): I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt. http://tfl.nu/gq37
  Replies (3) Good night (825) Bad night (1283)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?

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  (425): I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right? http://tfl.nu/i5oh
  Replies (1) Good night (1083) Bad night (352)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"

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  (815): Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?" http://tfl.nu/0929
  Replies (3) Good night (1337) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars

  (770): View more from Georgia

  wait nvm its a dude

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  (770): Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars (770): wait nvm its a dude http://tfl.nu/bj4y
  Replies (0) Good night (418) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.

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  (707): New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses. http://tfl.nu/6j5u
  Replies (2) Good night (308) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know

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  (434): Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know http://tfl.nu/qpk5
  Replies (2) Good night (342) Bad night (830)

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