Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?

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  (810): omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is? (1-810): i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen? http://tfl.nu/lnp6
  Replies (17) Good night (3134) Bad night (722)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  low key just jizzed in a chinese food container

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  (321): low key just jizzed in a chinese food container http://tfl.nu/tufb
  Replies (7) Good night (680) Bad night (3684)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.

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  (334): The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards. http://tfl.nu/c6zk
  Replies (15) Good night (12645) Bad night (677)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store

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  (407): she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store http://tfl.nu/25ph
  Replies (86) Good night (14621) Bad night (2412)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!

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  (814): My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!! http://tfl.nu/fx6s
  Replies (16) Good night (877) Bad night (5600)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost

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  (215): Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost http://tfl.nu/oth1
  Replies (4) Good night (3950) Bad night (895)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.

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  (502): She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused. http://tfl.nu/76xl
  Replies (17) Good night (1995) Bad night (2613)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Oh Jesus.

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  (219): Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa (708): Oh Jesus. http://tfl.nu/7sg2
  Replies (9) Good night (2463) Bad night (866)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..

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  (908): It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps.. http://tfl.nu/jf04
  Replies (3) Good night (1539) Bad night (719)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.

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  (706): Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence. http://tfl.nu/oul5
  Replies (0) Good night (1025) Bad night (406)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink

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  (716): Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink http://tfl.nu/hn0o
  Replies (7) Good night (663) Bad night (478)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.

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  (614): telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though. http://tfl.nu/tou6
  Replies (11) Good night (1686) Bad night (428)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower

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  (414): She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower http://tfl.nu/h8q1
  Replies (1) Good night (372) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.

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  (978): damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder. http://tfl.nu/kxku
  Replies (2) Good night (180) Bad night (428)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole

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  (913): Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole http://tfl.nu/jf5e
  Replies (2) Good night (162) Bad night (341)

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